So far, 2020 has been one of the most challenging years of my life. The number of lives lost and lives affected from this virus is first and foremost the most devastating, leaving so many family members unable to say goodbye to the ones they loved, as they passed away in isolation. It is absolutely heartbreaking. This pandemic has brought the entire world to a screeching halt. Family gatherings have been canceled, family members have been unable to properly memorialize their loved ones with a funeral, birthday parties have been canceled, 4th of July parades and festivities have been canceled, summer music festivals have been canceled, weddings have been postponed (including my own), and many many trips and adventures will not happen this year.
I have shed many tears this year for all of these situations. My heart is broken for all of those who have lost someone they loved during this time, whether from the virus or something else. I have cried over my postponed wedding, which seems silly in comparison to everything else, but we have waited a very long time to tie the knot and we were really really looking forward to it this year. However, the number one thing that has weighed heavy on my soul is the lack of travel. If you have read any of my other posts, or know me, you know that I am a traveler, a Gypsy, a wanderer at heart. I have an extremely restless soul, despite having a wonderful life with everything I could hope for and more. This year, this quarantine, this pandemic has caused a physical ache in my chest, a pain in my soul. It feels like nothing short of a broken heart.
I have spent most of this pandemic working at my hospitals, dreaming of the days when we can actually live again. Quarantine has felt like merely existing, like when your heart is broken. You just get through one day at a time until you feel like yourself again. There’s peace and comfort in knowing that it won’t last forever, but it has been a long few months. I long for the day when I can hike into the woods and see the wild flowers, when I can set up my tent along a flowing stream and sleep under the brilliant night sky, when I can sit by a crackling fire and have a beer with friends. It’s not the most expensive/extravagant vacations we’ve taken that I miss the most. It’s the simple ones, like camping a few hours away with friends that feel like soul mates; Reminiscing and laughing with them about work and our lives.
As things slowly open back up and our lives try to go back to normal, there is hope and promise for the future. I’ve never been the most patient person, but I’m trying to learn and it can only make me stronger I guess.
So here’s to 2021! All of the family get togethers, birthday parties, parades, music festivals, weddings, and adventurous trips that a lot of us, once upon a time not so long ago, took so much for granted.
Thanks for reading! 🌎✌🏽